On a Hollywood-themed night on “Dancing With the Stars,” it’s pretty apparent that this season has all the star-power of a student film. While the season is short on memorable personalities, the overall skill level is pretty high among the group and every week it seems like the deck is just reshuffled and new contenders emerge at the top of the leader board.
And unfortunately, the lone intriguing personality, Bill Nye, is treading dangerous ground with a torn knee ligament that likely hobbles his already “DWTS” chances.
Leah Remini is up first, and while the former “King of Queens” star doesn’t launch into a diatribe about her time in the Church of Scientology like she did last week, she shows she can still keep viewers’ attention with a sexy rhumba to Adele’s “Skyfall.” “I’m going straight here,” says judge Bruno Tonioli. She gets an impressive 8-8-8 for her efforts.
Corbin Bleu puts his best foot forward for a 20’s flapper themed quick step that looks like it was heavily inspired by “The Artist.” His footwork is crisp, frame solid and routine both flawless and electrifying. Unfortunately for him, the “High School Musical” phenomenon is long dead and he’s not likely to garner much of a popular vote. He lands a 9-8-9.
Elizabeth Berkley Lauren and her partner Val have a fairly elegant aviation themed foxtrot to “Come Fly With Me.” She sticks the landing for an 8-9-8, but again, lacks a major personality worth picking up a phone to text in a vote for.
It’s Brant Daughtery’s turn to be shuffled to the top this week, despite having a pretty horrible week leading up to the live show. He sprained a ligament in his foot leaving him to train in a boot and was robbed at gunpoint. The robber made off with his dance shoes. Healthy foot or no foot, shoes or no shoes, the “Pretty Little Liars” actor doesn’t seem to need them. He looks the part of a suave ’20s matinee idol and his and pro partner Karina’s flapper rendition of “Crazy in Love” earns a 9-9-9.
America’s sweetheart Valerie Harper is up next and partner Tristan MacManus choreographs a weird number in which she’s supposed to channel Grace Kelly to his Freddie Mercury. A 72-year-old with bad knees, she moves more like Grace Jones in “Conan the Destroyer.” “You’ve got the look absolutely right, Hollywood royalty,” says Bruno, continuing the judges’ habit of providing positive reinforcement to the actress who’s captured viewers’ emotions as she battles a brain tumor.
Still, there’s a limit to the judges’ positivity: 6-5-5.
Comic Bill Engevel says the paso doble “sounds like a Mexican dish.” But channeling his childhood love for the Lone Ranger, he and his partner opt to dance to the ridiculously fast William Tell Overture. Seeing pro Emma Slater as Tonto is probably pretty offensive to Native Americans, and almost as offensive as the judges giving him a 8-8-8 for a pretty mediocre dance.
Then it’s one-time front-runner Amber Riley’s turn. Pro Derek Hough has choreographed some brilliant Charlie Chaplan-influenced camp for their Charleston, but the judges felt she got off on the wrong foot – literally. She gets an 8-8-8, disappointing since she seems to be going backwards since a dominant display on week one.
Jack Osbourne has a lot going for him: his rocker father Ozzy, mother Sharon and sister Sharon are in the audience, he has a decent musicality, a little dash of self deprecating wit and a cheesy ’70s-themed number. Unfortunately for him, his hips are stuck in a different decade. His scores are a solid, but not spectacular 7-7-8.
Christina Milian and Mark Ballas, sporting clown face makeup, have a pleasant Charleston that hits all the right notes and most of the right steps. She gets a 9-8-9, easily her best dance of the young competition.
Snooki, sadly, just isn’t funny when she isn’t drunk and peeing in a street on “Jersey Shore.” “I feel like in my past life I was Marilyn Monroe,” she says without a trace of irony about her Marilyn-themed quick step. She continues the night’s run of good scores with a 9-8-8, muddying up the forecast for the Mirror Ball favorite.
Finally, it’s time for the main event. All eyes were on Bill Nye, the science guy, after he tore a knee ligament last week. His doctor’s advice? “Short of a wheelchair, I wouldn’t recommend any dancing this week.” Fortunately, Nye doesn’t dance, he entertains. Icing up and immobilizing his knee, he ignores the certain pain and competes.
“People don’t regret what they do, they regret what they don’t do,” he says during training. Words to live by.
Tyne Stecklein did an incredible job with a futuristic routine that lets him “dance” and hides the fact that he has one working leg as best she can. Dancing a Tron-like routine to Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky” is a master stroke and the Science Guy manages a passible Robot.
“Tonight we’ve seen some outstanding dancing, and we’ve seen some outstanding spirit,” gushes judge Carrie Ann Inaba, giving the high score in Nye’s 6-5-5.
The fan favorite, however, has to content himself with the moral victory. Despite his clear popularity and incredible force of will to even get out on the dance floor with that kind of injury, he’s clearly the worst dancer among the lot.
And so the clock has struck twelve on his Cinderella run, leaving Nye to hobble off into the sunset – and take the sole source of personality on the show this season with him.
